A Little Rusty
by Ekaterina Hansing
Summary: Concerned for Bruce's love life, Tony hires a dating coach to help him learn the art of romance. No slash


**A little rusty.**

I firmly believe that Bruce needs a gal, and I was not about to wait until Marvel makes a good one, so thus I shall expose all of Banner's dating inexperience, and then bestow someone worth waiting for.

* * *

"How about that girl?" Tony chewed at a flaky almond croissant in one hand and pointed to a lady across the street in a bright yellow blouse with the other.

"Um, she looks nice."

"Nice? Are you kidding me Banner? That woman is gorgeous!"

"She is very pretty."

"Smokin is more like. Look, she's crossing the street to the café! This is your chance, you big green love machine! Go make a move!" Bruce pinched at his nose in frustration.

"Tony, I'm not doing this. I'm not ready for this."

"Hmm. Okay, here." He handed Bruce his pastry. From his blazer pocket, Tony produced a comb and roughly ran it through Banner's salt and pepper curls. "Voila! Now your lovely locks have been styled to perfection, and you are prepared to meet the girl of your dreams! And give me back that croissant." Bruce growled.

"Tony, when you asked if I wanted to spice up my life, this is not what I imagined. Can't we just go back to the lab? I'm nervous with all these people around." With a flourish of his sugar coated fingers, Tony pointed to the woman in question and winked.

"You chat with beautiful over there and then I will take you back to your cave of utter solitude."

"Promise?"

"Yes. Yes. Now go, she's already ordering."

With a final sigh, he got up from the table and sauntered up the woman. "Hello." The girl faced him with a dazzling flirtatious smile.

"Hello." Lost totally for words and replaying the smile in his mind, he mumbled a confused sound like "umexcusepleaseme" ducked back to the table, and shamefully returned to his seat.

"Well, it was a good try." Bruce glared at Tony through his fingers. "So, you're a little rusty, there's no reason to give up! I mean, I might have even,"

"Just shut up and take me back to the lab Tony. I tried to tell you how bad I was with women. It _always_ goes like this."

. . . . . . . .oOo. . . .oOo . . . .oOo. . . . . . . .

That night, as soon as Pepper took Bruce shopping to help him 'Update his image,' Tony called an emergency meeting. He looked out at the angry faces and swallowed. Someday Bruce had better appreciate what he was about to do. He breathed deeply.

"Okay guys, I know you're tired, and I know you're mad at me for turning off your videogames and such," He glanced at Thor and Steve. "So I'll get right down to the point. I want to hire a dating coach for Bruce."

The room erupted with groans. "No, no, wait, hear me out! Fury, you yourself said Bruce needed a distraction didn't you? Well, this is it." He slapped a newspaper ad onto the table. "Molly Hansen, dating coach extraordinaire. Guaranteed to improve your way with women in one month."

"Is this a joke Stark? Banner would never go for it."

"Try to remember he isn't you Tony."

"Look," Tony said. "I'm not saying this girl can actually teach him anything useful, I'm not saying this is going to work. But Banner needs to see that he really can be normal. And whether or not he learns to talk to women, one month of Molly Hansen will at least get him back in the world. Today I had to drag him out just to eat, if we let him, eventually Bruce will hole himself away. I don't want it to happen." Fury nodded and stroked his chin.

"It's actually a good idea, and if that was all of it, I'd approve. But I know my approval means nothing to you, so why haven't you already set it up? What's the catch? What are you trying to get from us, Stark?"

"I need support, obviously, which means it will take everyone to convince him."

"And?" Barton prompted. Tony sighed impatiently.

"And the third week is a dancing class, so for two days you'll have to participate like good little ballerinas and learn how to shake 'em down."

"I believe I speak for everyone when I say we are _warriors_, not petty dancers."

"You can count Tasha and I out."

"Sorry Tony, I'd do it, but I'm a terrible dancer." Tony took a deep breath, because he knew what he was going to say was going to hurt. Try to remember it's for your _best friend_, he thought.

"I will pay every avenger who dances Fifty thousand dollars, update shield's database, and _temporarily _call you by your real names."

Of_ course_, to Tony's chagrin, everyone agreed, Fury called Tony a rich fool, all around the room the avengers slapped high fives at the prospect of twenty five thousand dollars a day, and Tony honestly wished he'd offered less.

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There certainly WILL be more, so add me to your updates, and happy reading!


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